


Second Chances

by kunstvogel



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brain Damage, M/M, Shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 13:32:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13525320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunstvogel/pseuds/kunstvogel
Summary: Lew suffers brain damage after he's caught up in a shooting. His relationship with Dick is redefined as a result.





	Second Chances

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally meant to be much longer, but I lost the inspiration for it. So here's a tiny little story. As always, feedback is appreciated.

He blinks awake inside a bar. It’s loud, but the noise is removed somehow, like he’s underwater. He looks around to see it’s filled with a moderate crowd, men paired off with other men and women paired off with other women. Some are dancing, others sit together at tables and booths, nursing drinks. He sees a few couples kissing over in the corner.

At the bar, there is a lone figure. He’s dressed in a leather jacket and blue jeans, nursing a glass of something amber-colored.  _ Whiskey,  _ his brain supplies for him.

He realizes the man at the bar is himself, and his stomach drops.

“Hey! You gotta get out of here!” he shouts, trying to move forward. But he’s trapped, somehow, a clear glass box all around him. He bangs against the glass and screams to be heard.

But it’s already too late.

The doors swing open, and two men carrying assault rifles open fire on the club. Lew tries to close his eyes, to cover his ears, but he’s paralyzed, forced to watch as he’s struck with the first bullet, knocked out of his seat, a spray of blood following him down. His scar hurts, throbs like hell, and he cries out, pressing a hand to the spot.

Suddenly he hears his own voice, drowning out the gunfire and the screaming in the bar.

_ Fuck, I never called him- I-I never told him- _

_ Dick, I-I love you... _

*

Dick is startled awake by the sound of Lew crying. He pulls himself out of bed and rushes to Lew’s room. He finds Lew sitting up, his knees drawn to his chest, sobs wracking his skinny body. It strikes him now to see how thin Lew’s gotten, and his heart aches. Lew has a hand pressed to his forehead, where his scar is.

“Lew?” Dick approaches him slowly. “Hey, what’s going on?”

Lew shakes his head, whimpering.

“Was it a bad dream?”

Lew nods. He rubs his fingers into his temple and Dick goes to his bedside table, retrieving his painkillers from the drawer. He takes a pill out and offers it to Lew with a glass of water. Lew accepts the pill, but spills the water when he tries to take it, his hands shaking too badly. Dick holds the glass to his lips, letting Lew drink until he pulls away.

“Better?” Dick asks, setting the glass aside, and Lew nods. “Okay. Get some rest. I’m be right across the hall if you need me, remember?”

“Mhmm,” says Lew, lying down again. He doesn’t have to fight to sleep anymore, slipping into it the moment his eyes close.

*

It’s sometime later. Lew is curled up on the couch next to Dick. The TV is on.

_ Lewis loved Dick,  _ Lew remembers suddenly. It’s the first coherent though he’s had in a while and he looks over at his friend, sitting so close to him on the couch as he watches a- a movie. Lew can only follow it for a few minutes at a time. He tries to imagine what the old Lew would have done.

_ What do people do when they love someone? _

Lew looks to the TV. The main character is kissing someone, slow and passionate. It stirs something warm in Lew’s belly.

_ Oh,  _ he thinks. He looks back at Dick, feeling uncertain.  _ Maybe he would have kissed him. _

“Lew?” Dick’s staring at him now, worry creasing his brow. “Everything okay?”

Lew nods, his heart beating faster. He leans in, closing his eyes, and presses a shy kiss to Dick’s lips. He feels Dick go still beneath him and opens his eyes, feeling his stomach drop. He’d done it wrong, surely. He’d messed up again and now Dick will be disappointed with him.

“Lew,” Dick says slowly, “why did you do that?”

“I’m sorry,” Lew chokes out, “I-I- I thought-”

“Hey- no, don’t apologize,” Dick soothes, taking Lew’s wrists. “I just want to know why you did that.”

There’s tears on his cheeks, he can feel them. Lew hiccups and pulls a hand free to scrub them away. He doesn’t like crying, doesn’t like the awful way his throat tightens up and his nose runs.

“I lo’ you,” he mumbles. He can hear the slur in his speech now and he swallows, trying to focus on his words. “I- I remem-remembered loving you, before. An’ I can still feel it, in here.” Lew puts a hand over his heart, biting his lip. “I love you, Dick.”

When he chances a glance up, he sees Dick looking pale and stricken. It makes his stomach twist up and he suddenly feels very alone.

“Lew, I-” Dick shakes his head, grimacing. “I- we can’t- I-I’m sorry.”

Lew stares. His chest hurts badly now and he blinks, freeing a tear.

Dick takes a deep breath. He touches Lew, threading his fingers through his hair. “You’re not the same person you were before, Lew,” he says quietly. “You’ve changed. And I’m not- I’m not ready to fall in love again.” Dick puts a hand over his own chest. “It hurts, in here. Every time I look at you- and you’re not…” Dick sighs, dropping his head. “I can’t,” he says. “I’m so sorry.”

“I- I need to lie down,” Lew says. He tears himself from Dick’s touch, ignoring him as he calls after Lew. He limps to his bedroom and closes the door just as the pain in his chest turns to a sob.

_ Of course he doesn’t want you,  _ his head taunts.  _ You can’t walk straight on good days. You can’t even feed yourself sometimes. You’re  _ **_broken._ ** _ No one would want to spend the rest of their life babysitting you. _

Lew curls up on the bed, shuddering. He doesn’t have the strength to fight his thoughts anymore. They’re true, anyway- why would Dick want to love a cripple with the cognitive skills of a four year old? He can’t finish the math books Dick had gotten for him, much less sit through an entire movie and retain any of it. Some days he can’t even speak coherently. Most days he can’t even think this much- his head aches already with it.

When they visited last, Lip and Harry had put on nice faces for him. But Lew could see the way Ron looked at him, their faces as they all talked to Dick before they left. They’d given up on him, seen that he was a lost cause. But Lew had thought Dick still believed he could get better and he clung desperately to Dick’s hope.

Now he’s not so certain anyone believes it anymore.

*

Lew doesn’t come out of his room for dinner. Dick eats alone at the table, his stomach churning until he can’t take another bite. He knocks on Lew’s door and offers him dinner, but receives only silence. The door is locked.

Dick tries to read a book, but he can’t focus. He puts on the TV but finds he can’t pay attention. Eventually he gives up, going to bed early. He says good night to Lew through the door after brushing his teeth. No response.

Dick sleeps fitfully. He hadn’t meant to upset Lew, though he knew it would happen anyway. Lew’s too fragile, these days, and can’t take rejection or disappointment. But it hurt, feeling Lew’s lips on him and knowing the person kissing him wasn’t the same man he’d fallen in love with. It hurt in a way he knows Lew wouldn’t understand.

He wakes up late the next morning, his body sore and aching. He showers and dresses before going to the kitchen to make breakfast. Scrambled eggs and bacon for himself; for Lew, a bowl of cheesy grits. Lew still struggles with crunchy foods and prefers things he can swallow without too much chewing.

Dick sets the table and goes to fetch Lew. He’s surprised to find the door unlocked and pokes his head in to see Lew under the covers, asleep.

“Lew?” he calls softly. Lew stirs, blinking awake and squinting at Dick. “I made breakfast.”

Lew mumbles something that sounds like an affirmation. Dick smiles and heads back to the kitchen to dish out the food. He looks up when Lew stumbles out of the hallway, rubbing his eyes. He looks pale and washed out, his hair sticking up in all directions, and Dick feels a swell of affection - bittersweet, because he’d upset Lew.

Lew eats slowly, seeming less coordinated than usual, and stays silent when Dick tries to make small talk. He’s reminded of the early days after the shooting, when Lew was reticent and frightened into a panic by the smallest noise, when he couldn’t get out of bed or eat or write on his own. Those were dark days for them both, and Dick grimaces. It’s too soon for Lew to be regressing- they’ve made so much progress already.

“Lew-” he starts, but Lew shakes his head.

“Sorry,” Lew whispers. He looks up at Dick, his expression pained. “Sorry, Dick.”

“Lew, don’t apologize,” Dick urges. “You’re not at fault here- I hurt you, and I’m sorry. I love you, Lew, I really do. But things have changed, you understand?”  He looks to Lew for an affirmation, and Lew nods faintly. “I’m your caretaker now- I don’t want to be taking advantage of you. I can’t know what you’re really feeling, sometimes, because of what’s happened.”

“Okay,” says Lew, sounding uncertain.

Dick smiles, taking Lew’s hands in his own. “I think I could fall in love with you again eventually, but I want to take it slow. I didn’t act on my wants before the accident-  and I’m glad of it, because it will be easier to learn who you are now. So just- just give it some time, Lew. Okay?”

Lew perks up, smiling. “Okay,” he agrees, and tucks into his grits.


End file.
